and because i'm nice, here is some more (ah no, you just want me shut up? X])

[EDIT] I record it again, cause i wasn't quite satisfied with the first take.... well i ain't satisfied with this one either...

I don't know how many crazy fellows will follow me, but even if there's just one person, i don't mind, but i can't play alone! =O

So let's try with this:

If you don't recognize.... well, it's my fault!

Happy holidays, and schöne Weinhachten!

I wrote that little something earlier today, it's not much, but again i need some kind of encouragement. Thank you for the ones who take the time to listen.

So i uploaded a little something: here. It's a little bit of the Leaving Song by our beloved AFI.

Tell me what you think, it'll be very helpful!

1)How are you at the moment?
stressed out of my mind!

2) Why?
cause i went to the mall today, and i'm kinda on the agoraphobia side

3) Give me 5 bestest persons at buzz.
5...  not like i know that much people here... well, lovesongindisguise, blueprum93, miserypassion (but i didn't see her around for forever now), xbert4lifex and sappysuperunknown10

4) Do you like yourself?
not.at.all.

5) What do you like to do in your free time?
listening to music, playing along with my guitar, write things no one will ever read, draw things then throw them away, read and.... i guess that's it 

6) Do you think you're able to do everything you'd like to [right now, from that place, are you confident enough //not in future]?
the future is a blackhole seen from my side

7) Do you think fighting makes any sense?
no, who can tell who's right? the one who's stronger? not in my mind

8) Was last question clever?

not dumb.

9) Which places would you like to visit?

Australia!! and the States, but i don't know which state i'd want to visit, i mean, i wanna see them all!! and Japan.

10) Honestly, give me one person from buzz, who made you feel special, like their friend? 

hmm all the persons that take the time to talk to me (i know, it's supposed to be one...)

11) What's your mobile phone?
don't have any, and don't feel the need to

12) Would you like to have (new) one?
keep that away from me!

13) Do you like to smile?
i can't, even when i'd like, or if i'm kinda happy, i can't bring  myself to smile... must have some muscle problem...

14) Write poems?
lyrics, i try

15) Eat?

don't get this one?

16) English?
i loooooove this language! don't know why... i love reading and writing in english, but it sure aint at school i learned it...

17) French?
i'm french... and happy to be, i mean i think it's pretty difficult to learn

18) Slovene?
never heard a word of it, so can't tell

19) Polish?
same

20) Sports?
ahem, does sleeping 15 hours a day counts?

21) Internet?
what would i do without it??

22) Do you think life gets better or worse day by day?
seen by my side, it's getting worse...

23) Are you nervous or calm person?
nervous as hell!!

24) Is there any message you'd like to tell the world?

kiss on the cheek the first person you see in the morning (even if it's a stranger on the street!!)

25) What's your favourite line in a song?
"You're making me feel like i was born to service you, but i'm growing by the hour" - Muse (Hate This & I'll Love You)

26) The cutest thing you've ever heard?

erm... nothing comes to mind right now... oh english people pronouncing 'r' with a roll

27) Do you love your parents?

i used to be really really really [...] really really really close to my mom, but i'm kinda growing distant at the moment... i'm just not feeling talkative, nothing to do with her; about my father, i've never been close to him... maybe cause i was stuck to my mother all the time!

28)What would you do if tomorrow is the last day of your life?
sigh a sigh of relief, but at the same time think, 'oh my, i didn't accomplish anything' and would feel some kind of despair... do i make any sense?

29)Do you often think about death?

if i say a lot, people would freak out! i aint suicidal, i just think about it cause it's here, it exists, period.

30)Is this the last question?
i'd like!!

31) Are you sick of tag-tests?  that was my first one.... i finally lost my tag test virginity

so, i'm tagging lovesongindisguise, ladylazarus, xxhimxsavedxmixlifexx, sappysuperunknown10, aaand geewillyoumarryme!

Home

I was wrapped in the safety of my covers,
When I caught a glimpse of you at three that morning.
You weren't smiling, you weren't crying,
You just seemed to be watching me from above.

I noticed you were sparkling, dazzling me;
My eyes were strained to your apparition.
My fascination for you never faded with the time,
And I was longing to feel your touch again.

I started to reach my hand out for you to take,
When the light suddenly went on outside my door.
Then the reality came crashing down hard on me,
As I heard a voice order in the distance:

"Give him another injection."

You Never Knew Holding Hands Could Help So Much (Now You Know)

I'm suffocating in this place
I feel like I can't breathe
I feel like I can't live

All I want now is to disappear from here
But I don't see any way out
'Cause I'm blinded by my fears

Take my hand and show me the way to disappear
Lead me to a place only you know
Where we'll learn to breathe again
Where we'll learn to live again

I know I need to move, but I can't
I'm afraid I'll shatter into pieces
So hold my hand and lead me

Take my hand and show me the way to disappear
Lead me to a place only you know
Where we'll learn to breathe again
Where we'll learn to live again

I'm so lost, I'm so lost I can't survive on my own
I'm waiting, I'm waiting
Too much noise, I'm drowning in
So hurry up, hurry up
And save me from here

So please take my hand and show me the way to disappear
Lead me to a place only you know
Where we'll learn to breathe again
Where we'll learn to live again

I've never admitted this to you, but now I do
I need you, I need you
So please take me to a place only you know
And where I can finally live

You didn't know who you were messing with, and now it's too late

This all began as a dream
But it has now become a nightmare
All because of my broken mind
And I wonder if it'll ever mend

I should have told you sooner
What's all held in my head
'Cause now all I feel is regret

I hoped someone would have saved me
But how could that ever happen
If no one knows what there is
To save me from

So I should have told you sooner
What's all held in my head
To save you from myself

I'm just a monster
Why didn't I see that coming
Who am I to force you into those feelings

I should have told you sooner
What's all held in my head
'Cause now all I feel is regret

But do I even feel anything now
'Cause I'm just a monster
How didn't you notice it
I didn't change
It was here from the beginning
I just can't control it anymore

And I should have told you sooner
What's all held in my head
'Cause now it's too late
And all I want now is too keep you from falling down with me